Wanted, Not Needed
Would You Rather…
Is it better to be wanted or needed? While the answer certainly must depend on the specific circumstances involved, my supposition is that it is better to be wanted instead of needed.
“I know he’s not fun to work with, but we can’t fire Jim because he’s crucial to our fulfillment department.” Your manager laments on Monday’s meeting. The moment Jim is no longer needed, he will be efficiently “reassigned” to the available labor market. But if Jim was wanted, they’d find a new home for him even if the entire fulfillment department was shuttered.
In a romantic relationship, nobody wants to be known as being “needy” because there is an implied level of responsibility and obligation that brings to mind a mother and child rather than a pair of lovers. If you need someone, they exert control over your life. If someone needs you, then you are primarily their caregiver at the expense of true friendship.
The most rewarding relationships are characterized by deep mutual desire and not necessity. With that in mind, does God want us (his creatures) or need us? It is obvious that God has need of nothing and no one. He is entirely sufficient on his own. Logically then, because we exist as his creation, it must be for his pleasure and not the fulfillment of need which is confirmed in Revelation 4:11.
Put simply, God certainly doesn’t need you. Instead, he wants you. And that is cause for rejoicing with humble gratitude.
Case Study: Esther
Is what happened in an ancient Persian empire 2,500 years ago relevant to us today? Indeed, while not all things in the Old Testament were written to us, they were written for us (1 Cor 10:11). Esther was written for admonition. It is a gentle reproof which counsels us against error.
In Esther chapter 4, Mordecai has just learned of Haman’s wicked plot to destroy the Jews. Distraught, he puts on sackcloth and begins to make a scene with a loud voice near the kings gate in violation of the local city ordinances against public indecency and excessive noise. Mordecai is no fool and in an age where a quick SMS was not an option he gets Esther’s attention.
Esther dispatches Hatach to become the message broker between him and Esther. We don’t know much about this guy other than that he was a silent observer to this exchange between Esther and her cousin. I wonder what Hatach thought as he considered the exchange. Like Hatach, we have the opportunity to eavesdrop in on this conversation. It has been preserved for us by God so that we, like Esther, can receive admonishment from a wise man in her life.
It’s All in Your Head
Esther 4:13 Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself…
Like Esther, we will spend a lot of time thinking with ourself. This is an important conversation because it will determine the direction of our lives. Our thoughts determine our actions and if our thinking changes, we have already changed although the outside world might not appreciate it yet. That’s what led to Solomon’s wise conclusion that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
For every Christian, the toughest battles are often fought between our ears and Mordecai’s advice to Esther was, “Don’t fight that battle alone.”
It is crucially important for us to think. Modern culture seems directly opposed to this practice and we can offload more of our thinking than ever before. We’re neutered by endless scrolling and binged entertainment and games. Anything not caught in that net can now be sent to an AI chatbot for analysis so that we don’t get caught thinking.
On the other end of the spectrum we can make the mistake of being the only voice in our thoughts. Mordecai was pointing this out to Esther when we invited himself into the group chat in her mind. He took a seat at the table and injected some new thoughts into Esther’s inner dialogue which would determine whether or not she would intercede.
What would Esther have chosen has Mordecai not been there? If we keep our thoughts only between me and myself, we lose the battle far more often. We can convince ourselves that God needs us when he doesn’t and we can think he doesn’t want us anymore when that is precisely what he wants!
We need our internal dialogue interrupted more often by the words of wise counsellors. It is the renewing of our minds that bring transformation to our lives and that won’t happen if your internal conversation is only ever with yourself. We only ever experience the world through our own eyes. We are the main character of a first person story about ourselves. While our own perspective may not always be the only one we consider it is always the first one we consider. This is our natural state and one with which we must struggle to overcome.
“Think not (only) with thyself!” A daily time in the word of God and in prayer to the creator invites a third person to sit at the table set in your head. Esther could have rejected Mordecai and we can also close our minds to spiritual influences. But if we humble ourselves and listen, that makes all the difference in the world – it did for Esther.
You Are Not Special
Mordecai asked for an invite into Esther’s mind and after she granted it, he wasted no time in delivering a pointy message.
“Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king’s house, more than all the Jews.”
Paraphrase: “Esther, you are not special.”
That’s hard to hear. Our whole lives we imagine ourselves as being special in some way. The entire super hero genre makes hay on the escapist fantasy that we will be needed someday to save the world with our other-worldly abilities.
From grade school onward, we’ve been told that we’re unique snowflakes. It is true in a sense if you get up real close. Under a microscope we all have unique fingerprints and DNA. We’re visually distinct enough to be known by our faces and voices. But if you zoom out even a tiny bit, you start to look like a little white speck in the snow identical to everyone else.
If the only interruption to our internal dialogue was a public service announcement that the same rules apply to us as everybody else, we’d all be better off for it. And that’s what being “special” means – life’s normal rules are suspended when it’s our turn to bat.
We think that because we own a business or raised kids successfully, or have a fully funded retirements account and a paid off home mortgage that we’ve really impressed God. Or maybe you’ve read your Bible through 25 times, you’re leading a ministry, you preached a good message, have a lot of friends, you’re good at sports, get good grades, have a lot of followers… and have started to believe that you’re different.
It must be said that these are all unique and good achievements! But we can’t stay zoomed in on any of those things and expect to make the best decisions. Think of Esther’s case. Who had achieved more than she had in the Persian empire? She was the queen of the land! And she was certainly tempted to think that if all the Jews were killed, surely she would be spared because of her achievement, rank and status.
Yet Mordecai knew that the rich and the poor meet together. The Lord is the maker of them all (Proverbs 22:2). Regardless of our achievements, the same rules apply to everyone. That’s why anyone that thinks they are somebody should take heed lest they fall. Mordecai reminded Esther that she was not different from any of the other Jews that were on the brink of extinction just because she happened to be the queen.
God Doesn’t Need You
As Esther continues to read from the cousin who raised her, she is probably hoping for that next phrase to have some more encouragement. Thus far he has barged into her mental conversation (which she ultimately consented to) and then proceeded to remind her that being the queen did not make this someone else’s problem. It is in this moment that that he drops the hammer.
“For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place.” Esther 4:14.
Talk about a gut punch!
“Hey Esther, if you don’t do something to help, you’re not going to be spared just because you’re the queen. Yeah all that hard work, sacrifice, and ultimate achievement didn’t buy you any special privileges.”
“Oh yeah, and also just wanted to remind you that if you don’t help out the Jews here in this moment, well God will just work out another plan – no big deal if you’re not involved. You’re actually not even needed here.”
Wow! This is the hardest part of Mordecai’s message to Esther for me to fully grasp. “God doesn’t need you” is hard to say. It feels callous or cold hearted, but that is exactly what Mordecai tells Esther in this passage.
God was going to save Israel either way. He had made a covenant promise to Abraham about that. From that perspective it seems obvious to say that the salvation of the Jews did not depend on Esther. Is she had said no or chosen not to be involved, God would have found another way without breaking a sweat.
The tough truth is that God doesn’t need our money, talents, availability, willingness, or even our very existence to accomplish his will on earth.
We don’t naturally think this way because humans are too easily impressed with human ability. For example, we’re impressed with people who are smart, knowledgeable, or witty. I recently spoke to someone who explained that they had just finished reading a book titled, “Types and Metaphors of the Old Testament” written a century or two ago. That impressed me, but it doesn’t impress God. Why not? He wrote the Old Testament! It’s hard to be impressed with a book written about the book you wrote!
Esther was a highly intelligent woman. She won a beauty pageant where the judge had to marry the winner. That doesn’t happen if you present yourself as ignorant eye candy. That might get you in the door, but there has to be wisdom, grace and intelligence behind the hair and makeup for anything to last. She had to be emotionally intelligent to win the kings heart.
She knew multiple languages. Being raised as a Jew she knew Hebrew but also Persian (spoken by the royal court) and likely many other languages since Persia itself was an expansive multilingual empire.
From her response to Mordecai we can deduce that she knew the laws of the land quite well from memory. You can also sense her wisdom and discernment and quick wittedness when dealing with Mordecai at the gate.
Didn’t God need her intelligence at this moment of all moments? Not according to Mordecai. “Esther, if you altogether holdest back thy intelligence at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place.”
Peter and John weren’t breaking IQ records when they preached at Pentecost yet God used them to accomplish his will even though they were described as unlearned and ignorant men. God can confound the wise and mighty with the foolish and weak. Our intellect is simply not that impressive to God and he doesn’t need it.
Surely God needed Esther’s position though as the queen! Who else could have this chance at an audience with the king in such a crucial moment? Mordecai knew that too but that didn’t change his advice to her.
We know from Esther 4:7 that money was a large motivation for the king to agree to Haman’s plan. If money was the reason the Jews were in this mess then surely money could have been a way out. Esther had access to the kings treasury but God didn’t need that either. God made all things. He produced money out of a fishes mouth. He convinced two pagan kings (Cyrus and Darius) to finance the rebuilding of the temple. He provided money to Elisha through a miracle of never ending oil. He enriched the entire nation of Israel through the exodus from Egypt. Put simply, God can produce money from any source at any time for any reason and he doesn’t need you!
God doesn’t even need your cooperation! Wait a minute, don’t we have free will though? God wouldn’t force our hand, would he? Look at the life of Jonah or Pharaoh of Egypt though as an example of God getting his will accomplished without the cooperation of those men. Esther could have refused to cooperate entirely. More than that, she could have actively tried to assist Haman in exterminating the Jews and God still would have had his will accomplished.
If we take this thought to its logical extreme we can see clearly that God doesn’t even need our existence.