One pet peeve I have is parents pretending to be good at disciplining their children. Let me explain. You are at a restaurant with another family and the kids are acting up. One child in particular is grabbing food from someone else’s plate. The child obviously has done this before and knows that there should not be any real discipline based on past experience, but is surprised when the mom lashes out at the child for this seemingly small infraction. You see, this parent does not discipline her children at home, but is embarrassed by their behavior in public and lashes out in hopes of compliance. This usually doesn’t work.

The parent who only disciplines their child in public (and you can usually tell this is the case when the discipline is largely ineffective), is lazy and selfish. Lazy because they don’t do what they’re supposed to do behind closed doors, and selfish because the only motivation to discipline comes from their own self interest and not the child’s spiritual well-being.

Lastly, this type of behavior really confuses a child. Why are some bad things ok at home, but not cool at church, a restaurant, or a friends home? Kids don’t understand that and you are really teaching them that obedience is only important when other people are watching. The effects of this parenting style become more telling as the child gets older.

If you discipline your kids properly (including training) you will rarely have to discipline them in public, and this is good for everyone involved.

Related posts:

1. My Wife is Pregnant…
2. Parents in the Bible: Prodigal’s Father

What does anyone do to prepare for fatherhood? My wife and I are currently reading through, To Train Up a Child and so far we both think there are some great principles to be gleaned there. But really good parenting technique I feel comes from experience – something we will ironically only have when it’s too late to use!

To improve my morale, I did some searching online for the worst parenting examples I could find – something that would make me feel like super dad in comparison. Check out this blurb:

When her two young sons first started walking, Lisa Moricoli-Latham, a mother in Pacific Palisades, Calif., would gently push them over. For the sake of their development, she thought it would be better for them to crawl first. A physical therapist had told her so. She kind of enjoyed it, she says. “It gave me this sort of nasty thrill…”

What!? What insane person would purposefully tip their children over and get a “nasty thrill” out of watching them fall?

I found another story about a woman who claimed on twitter that she was considering strangling her 3 year old if she didn’t stop crying. Two hours later the police showed up at her door to check on the child and thankfully found her tucked in and safe.

There is one thing that I know I can count on during the formative years of my kids: I will make many mistakes as a dad. My wife and I are just two sinners about to raise a bunch of sinners! There is one thing I am counting on above all the parenting technique, discipline, and training and that is the mercy of God on my family. Long ago I determined that the only thing I could do to ensure a good outcome for my kids is to plead with God to intervene in their lives on my behalf.

I have seen many bad parents end up with good kids and many good parents with bad kids. I know that no matter what I do, my children will eventually have to decide for themselves on salvation and whether they will serve the Lord with their lives. For this reason, I am taking the approach found in Proverbs:

The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the Lord.
Proverbs 21:31

I am going to prepare the horse (e.g. have family devotions, teach my kids how to pray, train and discipline them, be faithful to church, make my kids attend a Godly school, etc…) but I must rely on God to deliver the results.

There will be more pregnancy/fatherhood related updates in the future.

Related posts:

1. Rule #1 Never discipline your kid (except in public)