As a new father to be, my goal is to be as prepared as possible for the monumental task of raising a “man child” into a responsible adult. I say responsible adult, but what I really mean is someone who realizes our temporary condition here on earth and that there is no higher calling, but to please God with your life.
So naturally I have begun to read some books on this subject. One book that I recommend whole-heartedly is To Train Up A Child by Pearle. It is well balanced and comes straight from the man’s experience in raising his children who are all serving God with their lives. Of course the best book on this subject is the Bible. I’m going to take a look at all the parent examples in the Bible and come up with a list of all the good and bad things that they did raising their kids.
The first in this series is a relatively simple example. The prodigal son’s father in Luke 15:11-32. I believe that this was a true account. Any time in the Bible, when Jesus says, “A certain main…” I believe that this is real life account. These are the words that Jesus used in the next chapter in reference to the rich man and Lazarus, who we are told are real people.
- Lack of Anger: The first thing that I notice, is that the father in this story doesn’t get angry. As a father, there are bound to be plenty of things that will make you mad, not the least of which is a foolish son (Prov 17:25, 19:13). But in this story, the foolish son took his inheritance early and ran out of the house and wasted it with harlots and drunkenness. I know that would make me mad. But notice in verse 20 that instead of an, “I told you so/you disappointed me/how dare you…” speech, the father ran out and was filled with compassion for his son. What a tremendous example.
My kids will never be perfect (they are related to me after all!) and so it is important to realize that they will sin and do dumb things. That is guaranteed! The only thing I can control is how I react when they do make these mistakes. I think I learned here that compassion is the key. Now of course, the compassion only came after the son truly repented of his error. We should never condone sin in the lives of our children and furthermore we should always try to rebuke them and give them the truth.
- Wisdom in Allowing His Son to Leave. These two boys in this story were older sons at this point in their life. As our children get older it is necessary that we allow them more freedom of choice. It is a natural thing for their independence to grow with age even though it may be difficult to allow this.This father showed wisdom by allowing his son to make his own error.
While it is not specifically mentioned in this account, I believe this father did warn his son about the dangers of leaving home with so much money as a young man. But instead of refusing and allowing rebellion to take control of his son’s spirit, this man wisely allowed his son to learn this lesson the hard way. In the end, it produced a much wiser son. Eventually your kids will have to be independent and make their own decisions in life. Don’t be afraid to lovingly and bluntly advise, but then back off and allow them to experience life. You cannot protect your children from everything.
- The father didn’t ignore a bad attitude. At the end of this story, the other sibling who stayed at home with Dad had a bad attitude. He wanted to know why great rejoicing was being made for the foolish son who had returned home, but nothing had been done for him though he had been faithful all this time.
When your kids have a bad attitude, you must NEVER ignore or allow it. This wise father, decided to deal with it immediately and cut it off before it became a much bigger root of bitterness and anger. Never allow your children to pout or stew. Attitudes CAN be controlled and since they dictate our direction in life, they are vitally important. - The father gave a reason why. How many times have you heard a child ask, “Why not?” Kids always want to know why they are told to do things. As really young kids, they must first learn to obey without knowing why. Obedience is something that must be trained without questions. Later, as our children get older, the “why” becomes vital. They can’t just say, “I don’t drink alcohol because my dad said not to” when they are being pressured by their friends to have beer. They must know the reasons why so they can believe the truth for themselves.
This father didn’t just stop at telling his son not to have a bad attitude, he told him why he needed to shut up and put a smile on his face. The foolish son had already lost several years of his life, his inheritance, and his dignity. The least that could be done was a welcome home party. The wise son still had all these things because of his wisdom in staying put, but he was too blinded to realize that he was really far richer than his foolish brother. Instead of griping he should be thankful that he was spared what his foolish brother had to endure, and realize that what he still had intact was worth far more than any fatted calf.
- The father was fair. Notice in the first verse of this account, the father gave them their portion. As a Dad, if you are planning on doing something exceptional or out-0f-the-ordinary for one of your kids, be prepared to do the same for the rest of the kids.
- The father had an inheritance to give to his kids. In Prov. 13:22, we see that a good man will lay up his wealth to give as an inheritance to his children’s children! In today’s society that is virtually unheard of. Very few people bother to save even for their own retirement, much less for their children’s sake.
There isn’t a real end to this story, but we can be sure that the wise son got his act together, the foolish son learned his lesson, and a wise father had his family back together again. Let’s learn from this man’s example and apply these principles to our own children.
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December 13th, 2010
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