As a new father (to be), I have been keeping a keener eye on other parents. I wan’t to see what works, what’s fun, and what fails miserably so I don’t have to make the same mistakes. Like most people, I have a lot of experiences from my own childhood to draw from, but it can be even more intriguing to see how other parents succeed or fail at parenting.

One pet peeve I have is parents pretending to be good at disciplining their children. Let me explain. You are at a restaurant with another family and the kids are acting up. One child in particular is grabbing food from someone else’s plate. The child obviously has done this before and knows that there should not be any real discipline based on past experience, but is surprised when the mom lashes out at the child for this seemingly small infraction. You see, this parent does not discipline her children at home, but is embarrassed by their behavior in public and lashes out in hopes of compliance. This usually doesn’t work.

The parent who only disciplines their child in public (and you can usually tell this is the case when the discipline is largely ineffective), is lazy and selfish. Lazy because they don’t do what they’re supposed to do behind closed doors, and selfish because the only motivation to discipline comes from their own self interest and not the child’s spiritual well-being.

Lastly, this type of behavior really confuses a child. Why are some bad things ok at home, but not cool at church, a restaurant, or a friends home? Kids don’t understand that and you are really teaching them that obedience is only important when other people are watching. The effects of this parenting style become more telling as the child gets older.

If you discipline your kids properly (including training) you will rarely have to discipline them in public, and this is good for everyone involved.

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